Seeds

I pretend that everything here
is grown of my hand.

When I walk home, sifting the
seeds like beads through my fingers.
Dock leaf or tall grass, tip dipped
in lilac and silver

Little blue-bottle wing
or amethyst grain
I have grown with you.

Then sewn along the roadside
like I’m planting lemon trees
I star the dry earth with you

Two words with rain under.
Two words of light?

We will learn to balance one day
opening and closing against the wall
as clematis.

Miss you
still I ache, planting again
precious stone and thin wing

With steely forwardness.
Watch them

Fall from my grip
and I do not know how they
grow again each time.

We’ll understand blooming
and the sepia drop away
soon enough I hope, tonguing two words

Drowned in lightness
I have always been fluid
gold.

Always breathed water

Too bad
miss you now

And then again.

Next year I’ll ask
if any are mine yet.

Resilience

Even after the bleach,
guilty re- communication
and the man with red hair,
you still leave me sleepless
every night.

Education

Gripping formula this morning
my kingdom, my only formula

as I put off education
similarly put off, and drawn on

then stopped short
by the man I’ve crowned my sustenance.

Take myself up this morning
gathering like blue waves of fabric

Rouching about my neck, bunched at my elbows
firmly held ripples around my waist

And sew, cobweb and moth wing
and anything to take myself down

and revise the patterns outside.
fox on the shore, every tree I’ve learnt

and the tide
I am tied to the town nonetheless.

Sat here as a tightly hugged river
undulating with the weight of application

Unbridled indolence
and the ghosts of birds loved

White in my wet.

If the last lines here fade
then I will surely tumble

Silly tumbler of water
and strain myself down

through the earth
and the dog bone, through the borders
that keep me too un-stone for you.

Funnel my way into the concrete block
glass and steel, or lights abundant

I concur, must apply now
his is without me, plainly fluid weak
and un-kissed

So I am tattooing the rules of
this place on the pebbles that cleave to me

A thin flood, unknowing.

Bats

Bats brought me home
in chaos, tissue thin
but with two tiny mountains
hooked over jutting bones

And mountain ears
faster than anything.
Will fleck my face, will tangle
in my hair.

I am open mouthed
head up for them, thrilling me
cometing over me.

Spiders

The morning leaves no time to occupy hands.
The mouth makes a web out of cotton yawns

threads which have undone overnight
coal fibres all loose.

You leave silence glacial
empty

missing wall.

I amass spiders.
lips of frantic legs,

Moving teeth which sputter
out and scuttle among the bed sheets.

The hour fills with black clamour.

My tea takes the buffer of words,
the panic of silence.

I see that in ten minutes
the window will fall away
with the door

and the day will make claim
to sense.

My forwards is arachnid,
steady clatter of talking.

I only need to fill
a few more mornings
to forget you. 

Wolf

Put me under your black Alfa.

The sky is distilled. Bright blue.
Sometimes I make my eyes bluer.

I am removed and dry

Shrugging my way into
my black hoodie and biting
the cuffs off.

The week was spent killing
the housewife design.

Learning the Viennese design,
designing my future.

but
you tell me about the low
and I fold the clothes and fly home.

I only want to be your constant
it will make it better.

Your ‘constant star’ song sighs on
and I walk home through the field
fracturing.

I wish I’d kissed you.
 

The hill is bright green, propels the incline
your eyes that way crush

And I get designing.
Flat with the concrete, the foundations
of everything I love about you.

Some people can’t be helped
I have to say
though it defies my nature.

Home spurns me
my river clicking white tongues
diamond mutter in the sun

This feels like failure.
So I walk the whole way to be
in light and tarmac.

Later the plan is to colden.

My room clambers away from me
while I make like you’re here.

I like our face sequence.
Tonight I fall asleep replaying it
in my pillow

Growl like a wolf
then tongue a little way out
to the side
then laugh.

Shame

I have disrupted my sex
to allow you some respite.

You are immaculate
braver than most
and gorgeous.

So let me take it.